go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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