This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
