Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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