Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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