I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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