He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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