Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
