But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
