we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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