That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
