the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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