I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
