hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
NoShamevember. You game?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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