i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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