I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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