I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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