Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
