Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
