i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
