Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
