Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
