Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
