do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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