why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
