I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
