did you get engaged???
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
