I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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