So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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