Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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