I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
