why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
