my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
