My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
