I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
