i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
