1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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