She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
