you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
