Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
