and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
