is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
