An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
