Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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