i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
