Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
