how can u be prego again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
