we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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