youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
honey bunches of taint.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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