i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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