He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
