Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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