then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
