I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
