dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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